Why can't we be friends?

After leaving work last night, I left the hospital after chatting with my boss thinking about the song, "Why can't we be friends?"

Now, one of the things that usually offers some sort of consolation after work is my little experimental outdoor container garden. I purchased most of the plants on the weekend of Earth Day, so I was all sorts of excited to try out the organic dirt and organic pest control, especially when it came to my edibles.

So far most of the plants have been doing okay. My first (and for a long time, only) problem was mushrooms. The little invaders had a way of springing up over night, dying, and leaving behind a black "cloud" all over my pansies. I think I won that battle. 

But, a couple of weeks ago, I strolled out on a sunny Sunday afternoon to find my basil turning yellow, losing leaves, with huge HOLES in it! As I looked closer, I realized that my herbs were COVERED in little green worms! Ugh!!! 

My first inclination was that maybe this could be a simbiotic relationship. Perhaps they were there to eat and in turn to help my plants, and maybe to be nice butterflies when all was said and done, but no: they were actually mere parasites, and ravenous ones at that. 

Thus, I proceeded with the Organic Natural warfare: I broke out this spray that I bought that I discovered is sulfer-based and proceeded to hose my plants with it. It meant that we couldn't sit outside for 24 hours due to the smell, but what to do? Within another day or so, the worms were still there, fat as ever. I tried another spray, and within a few hours discovered that it merely fried the leaves/blossoms into burned crisps, but the insects remained unscathed. 

Then, drastic action was needed! My herbs were on the brink of extinction! So, I found the best Organic Means possible in my mind. I organically removed those worms with my organic fingers (yuck) and managed to make those little buggers into organic smears on my non-organic cement.  Not a pleasant prospect, but what else could I do? It was them or the basil and mint! 

Fast forward to this morning. While I haven't seen the little beasties for some time now, I went out to my patio for my a.m. routine and what did I find? HOLES in almost every OTHER pot that I own! 

With the song "Why can't we be friends?" still stuck in my head, I pondered my garden plight. Those larvae leave nothing but skeletons of the leaves upon which they hatch! I scoured my plants and discovered that moths had laid numerous eggs elsewhere. So, after more fertilizing my cement with organic worm smears, I have decided that I need to take hard-core action and resort to chemical warfare. If anyone knows where I can get some Malathion (apparently, the local Home Depot here doesn't sell any), I'm open to suggestions.

Then, my response shall be to them: "Say hello to my little friend!"