The Gene Pool

So, dear blog readers, today's blog is about my job. (Again.) For those of you who know me pretty well, you know that I love my job, and so the following paragraphs are outlyers and not the norm.

That being said, every once in a while, I come across parents of babies in our NICU that just about drive me to drinking. (Not actually, of course, but it's right on par with wanting to strangle a stuffed animal or something like that.) They esentially come from the shallow end of the gene pool. As I mentioned ot one of our docs, not everyone can be in the top percentile. These are more like the very bottom percentile. They existed in labor and delivery, too, but the bright side is that most parents aren't in the hospital for more than 3-4 days in L&D.

What really kills me is when parents think they know a lot more than we do. If you think you're so smart, take your child home, devoid us of the liability, and YOU try and take care of a cardiac mess yourselves. Otherwise, when I tell you that your child has a fever and NOT to bundle him in four blankets, I mean what I say when I tell you to take off three of those four blankets. When I tell you he's not supposed to eat, I mean it! (This happened more in L&D when people would sneak a surgical mom a hamburger. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath when it didn't sit well?) When the baby's oxygen saturation level is 39% (normal for most people is above 92%), his brain probably isn't getting much of what little oxygen is circulating, so instead of blocking my path to his bed, get out of the way. And while you're at it, stop waving your hands in front of his face. It's not going to make him breathe, nor will it make his heart work better. And while I turn up his oxygen flow, stop telling me that he should be on a lower flow. And if he's screaming bloody murder while being held and can't maintain his oxygenation, then for Pete's sake, listen when we tell you to put him back in bed! Oxygen to the brain is more important than parent bonding at this point! (Of course, in reality, when babies actually calm down with parental interaction, I'm ALL FOR parental interaction as much as possible. This is for those of you who are starting to form the opinion that I'm a medical nazi.) And,  if your baby is sleeping after just having surgery yesterday, PLEASE don't wake him up so you can see his face! Just let him rest; his pain is well-controlled right now and he needs the sleep!

Lastly, and most importantly, it's one thing to forget that you asked a question this morning. It's another to repeat the same question throughout the day. When I tell you the answer to a simple question, I don't want to keep telling you over and over and over again that your baby won't go home this week because of x-y-z.

Okay. I think I'm done venting about parents who are clueless. Dear readers, I REALLY do like most parents, and I love educating parents on how to interact with their babies. I like empowering parents with things like diaper changes, infant cues, etc. so that they know how to read their children. It's great when parents get to hold their babies and feed them, etc. But, every now and then, I need to go strangle something. Kinda like when office workers want to strangle their bosses. Every day is not necessarily a great day.